March 20, 2010
New Mummy for Egyptian Museum, our secret correspondent learns
Zahi Hawass, Secretary General of Egypt's Supreme Council of Antiquities, has announced a new mummy to placed in Cairo's Egyptian Museum shortly. Hawass insisted that only 20 cameras, youtube, and two geostationary satellites attend the announcement, per his own messages on Twitter, Facebook, MySpace, Larry King Live, Fox News, BBC, GoogleEgo, and CNN Universe, and his own website, famed for having the largest font of a personal name on the world wide web.
At the announcement, he revealed the identity of the next mummy.
"It shall be none other than our very own beloved Phaor--, uh President, Hosni Mubarak," he announced. "As soon as his son signs the papers, and the President instructs -- I mean advises -- the press on how many pages to cover it, the space is ready," he declared. Hawass gushed about "the remarkable state of preservation, typical of Egyptian ingenuity: why, even the hair shows not a trace of gray despite the passing of untold years."
Hawass did add that although the new mummy would share space with Pharoahs Ramses II and Tutanhkamen, there were no plans to include remains of "the prior Presidents, that Gamal fellow and whats-his-name, the Sudanese-looking guy." (Rumors of other mysterious bodies in the Museum persist nonetheless, widely believed to be Museum employees who accidentally stepped between Dr. Hawass and a working television camera.)
When questioned about whether it was a good use of public funds, Hawass initially had trouble answering the question, as such a question has never been posed before to an Egyptian public servant. Recovering, he did note that it would be subject to an upcoming referendum. When asked then why the space had nonetheless already been reserved and under construction, he commented that the results of the referendum had already been counted and the referendum "had or will have passed" overwhelmingly, and "at an even higher percentage on the recount."
Posted by Top Secret Anonymous Guy at March 20, 2010 08:23 PM
Filed Under: North Africa
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To paraphrase Tom, 10 days too early.
Posted by: The Lounsbury at March 24, 2010 07:41 AM