August 02, 2006
Letter from Hizbullah to Israel
Recently received intelligence via my Hamas contact, Mel Gibson*, in which it was learned that Hizbullah has sent a "thank you" letter to Israel. Text follows.
* Expelled for intoxication.
Dear Isr--- Hated Zionist Enemy:
Please accept our earnest thanks for making us the most powerful force in Lebanon, and rallying even many of the kuff--- Christians to our cause. We would also like to thank you for getting al-Qaeda to almost care about suffering Shiites. Although we do not like our children being killed and maimed by your stones-break-scissors airstrikes, who'd have thought that you could make an exercise in deadly mischief, like a soldier kidnapping, into an outpouring of pity for our constituents, even as we lob rockets willy-nilly into cities full of people and make intermittent anti-Jewish bigotted comments? And please accept our great thanks for being made to sound downright rational while your statements sound like Nasserist spiel in 1967 or the Arab states in 1948, or Russians in Chechnya.
And thank you for blustering and not winning, at least right away. We're the big heroes now.
Loved also the way the Iraqi leaders had to up-end the official line of their American sponsors too.
And it is really a pleasure too to watch you push along the live-action drama: the Passion of the Rice.
May God destroy you,
Posted by Matthew Hogan at August 2, 2006 12:27 AM
Filed Under: Levant
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great stuff, M.
Posted by: L at August 2, 2006 06:08 PM
Superb. And that's all lebanon's left with for now: fighting back with humor, since the tears have probably run out along with the food, the gas, the medicines...
Posted by: Pierre Tristam/Candide's Notebooks at August 5, 2006 07:43 PM