Oooh, I need to visit again so you can take me there! It could be so much fun.

Hmm, so you're saying our little innocent did not impress/

Perhaps he needs a bit of assistance.

He did not impress.

One should not try to pick me up using Mideast politics unless one can easily pass the "Syriana Test", as DrDoug puts it.

Also odd that he guessed I was Lebanese.

Well, likely it was what came to mind.

Given his experience was the Levant.

The right way to pick eerie up:

"Here's your army of servants to serve your every whim. Which Carribbean island would you like?"

its quite the good test, i must say.

a suitor also scores big points if they've read qaddafi's Green Book. shows that the person has a sense of humor!

Hilarious story. I think I blinked too.

dear eerie,

there's a TEST? as for qaddafi's book - who hasn't read it? when on a long trip & conversation topics exhausted -> whip out the green book for "guaranteed laughs".

i also don't see why you could never go back to that $8 place. if the guy is there again, & if he wants to chat again, just tell him to shut up & give you your salad. why let the existence of people like him limit your culinary universe? what are you - canadian??? in the city (n.y.c., that is) the first question ("so, where you're from?") would've resulted an a bored "what the fuck's that to you???" and the conversation would've ended.

did you not learn ANYTHING from reading l's posts and comments?

--raf*

"....what with the East Coast domination of politics and you know how so many of them are powerful Jews that run the media..."

He could have shortened his pickup line to "Hey my Dad worked in the Nixon White House."

Kudos to you for being a cutie who at least doesn't begrudge males their effort at trying.

Also, don't worry about a second pickup attempt, when you strode out the door he probably muttered, "yeah, she's a lesbian."

More seriously, don't let a jerky attempt at socialization scare you away from a chosen place of enjoyment; you should rule your destiny. IF Egypt didnt defeat you, nothing should.

raf*:

i give it 100 to 1 odds that the salad server has never even heard of the green book before. believe me, it's a damn good test in north american circles. it's also a good test to see if they think it's funny or if they take it seriously.

E: next time i'm in canada, shall we go out for salads and drinks? i'll talk like L writes if that sort of thing turns you on.

E as a lebanese lesbian poptart indeed!

"Bemused, I tried to give him a flyover view of recent Mideast history, foreign policy and state interests in the context of Israel, colonial governments and pan-Arabism, but quickly realized that none of it was sinking in."

You tried even AFTER the "Jew media" remark?

I'm not sure whether to applaud you for your steadfastness or berate you for not making an immediate exit after the blink. Crazy people are like growling dogs--speak calmly and back away slowly. It's just a salad.

With regards to "begrudging males their effort", I disagree. Begrudge away, says I.

So where does it place me if I confess that at age 12 or 14 I wrote to the Guide himself and got, for my troubles, a nice copy of the Green Book as well as assorted fun documents from the Libyans?

As for eerie's very Canadian politeness, she might adopt, were she to be like me, my stare down my nose and haughtily say "not from here evidently" as a piss off and leave me alone remark. It usually throws people off, makes them feel uncomfortable for asking and allows me to continue on my way.

"So where does it place me if I confess that at age 12 or 14 I wrote to the Guide himself and got, for my troubles, a nice copy of the Green Book as well as assorted fun documents from the Libyans?"

Really, really, REALLY altitude-sickness-inducing high on the "nerd" list.

So where does it place me if I confess that at age 12 or 14 I wrote to the Guide himself and got, for my troubles, a nice copy of the Green Book as well as assorted fun documents from the Libyans?

Well, certainly no problem passing the "Syriana Test". More than a little peculiar though (which is not to say bad, just...odd).

As for our respective approaches, politeness aside I'm still not a terribly nice person. More subtle perhaps, but such differences amount to hairsplitting.

E: next time i'm in canada, shall we go out for salads and drinks? i'll talk like L writes if that sort of thing turns you on.

Hah, no comment

dear all,

what IS the "syriana test"? and what's the prize?

--raf*

Raf: It involves making someone watch Syriana and observing their reactions. If the person keeps asking questions or misses the point, he/she is unworthy of your attention.

As for the reward, that depends on who is administering the test.

Raf: i could tell you the reward that i dole out but then eerie might get jealous. i'd also probably have to kill you, or some other bondesque type gesture.

perhaps as one of the selected bibliographies or other hanger-on pages we should include a section on how to quickly screen potential friend/date/relations applicants against MENA awareness...

Just here to say that I thought it strange when my beloved m-i-l said she spent the summers of her youth seeking out museums and the like, rather than out on the beach or in the pools like any other normal kid. Now that l has admitted to his youthful indiscretion, well, my m-i-l no longer looks quite so strange.
That she can be as charming as l in animated discussions on the finer points of politics, history, religion, and why you showed up with a two-door rental car when she clearly stated that only a four-door would be acceptable, a discussion that involved a large crowd on Amsterdam & 95th - both on the street and hanging out from their windows - taking bets on how many rounds it would go, is probably, it would appear, not a coincidence.

Bother, a man shows a youthful interest in the thought of Muammar Qaddaffi and this is nerdy? Rubbish, it's avante garde, as my appreciation for Libyan TV.

Nevertheless, I am pleased I am as charming as Pantom's mother-in-law.

"Bother, a man shows a youthful interest in the thought of Muammar Qaddaffi and this is nerdy? Rubbish, it's avante garde, as my appreciation for Libyan TV."

Not nerdy, that, VERY VERY nerdy.

OTOH, I had finger rings of Greek gods from Metropolitcan Museum of Art in adolescence. Nerdy and "faggy".

Right, and everyone already knows about my teenage preoccupation with Marcus Aurelius. Weird and nerdy kindred spirits, we are.

Wonderful read!

it's good to know that every single person with any remote interest in MENA and eerie's salad-fettish love life had a horridly nerdy childhood.

i will tactfully refrain from mentioning my rather... perculiar... childhood obsessions.

dear every single one of you,

you're weird.

thanks for the answer re: "syriana" test, though. although, dear drdougfir, apart from me not caring about the kinds of rewards you dole out (& me being rather suspicious of how jealous eerie might actually get ... dear e, does this sort of online flirtation work? ya'nii - any more than what the salad dude tried?) ... do bring on the bond-esque type gesture(s). it might de-nerdify this whole gang.

i now picture you all with taped glasses & pocket protectors.

yalla ... must get back to chopping wood & eating raw meat.

--raf*

So where does it place me if I confess that at age 12 or 14 I wrote to the Guide himself and got, for my troubles, a nice copy of the Green Book as well as assorted fun documents from the Libyans?

That takes the cake. Hope they didn't sell their mailing list to a junk mail company.

Actually, Zurn, I had several fine years of information on the Guide.

Always enjoyed his interesting approach to being an eccentric.

I think I should take the Michael Totten Tour of Lebanon. Although I am wondering how to use my Western passport to pick up the ladies. Do I just casually flash it, or do I have to talk with a loud American accent? haha