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October 05, 2005
Insomnia and Arab Singles Sites: Random Thoughts
Can’t sleep, so I’m surfing Arablounge.com, an Arab singles site.
It showed up on the bloody Google Ads bar, I swear.
The site appears to be aimed primarily at younger Americans/Europeans with Mideast backgrounds (Christian and Muslim) and seems to reflect North American online dating culture. Vastly different from the UAE section of Shaadi.com, a mega-personals site that I had the opportunity to…er…study in-depth some months ago. The most obvious difference between these two sites is that Shaadi.com is branded as a matrimonials site where people create profiles with the specific intent of finding a spouse (sometimes on behalf of a sibling or son/daughter). Unlike your average Western dating website, Shaadi profiles provide detailed information on religion, caste/subcaste, values (liberal, moderate, conservative), mother tongue, complexion (fair, wheatish, medium, etc) and most amusingly, residency status. I imagine that this might be particularly important for the large Indian/Pakistani expat population in Dubai.
Shaadi.com has a rather large selection of Asian Muslims, but hardly any Arabs or Turks (my personal preference, if I may be momentarily superficial). There is, however, another matrimonial site that focuses primarily on the Middle East and North Africa: Qiran.com.
Once again, I’ve fallen into the trap of creating a fake profile so that I can browse the ads unrestricted. When Shaadi.com was first introduced to my multilingual American consultant (complete with six-figure salary and terse two-sentence profile), she received no less than one thousand replies in three months. I figured the profile would be so intimidating that nobody would respond, but apparently “Layla” (username: datepalm) was irresistible because of her citizenship and income. Quite a few divorced accountants in Peshawar wanted this obviously “swet and gentel lady” to move in and raise their children from a previous marriage.
Returning to my cursory examination of Qiran.com, it appears that most of the men are predominantly North African (especially Moroccan), with a smattering of Turks, Gulfies and Lebanese for good measure. Many of the women appear to be North African as well, not sure if this is related to a more liberal society or better internet penetration. Hardly any are veiled and most tend to wear Western clothing, even if they identify themselves as conservative.
The funniest photo I’ve seen so far is of a young Saudi man in a crisp white disdash, seated at a desk with pens, a Qur’an and a keyboard carefully arranged beside his manicured hands. A cleverly Photoshopped glow surrounds his entire body, making it seem as if he’s radiating a serene (dare I say “divine”) light.
There is also a very hot Turk I want to make into my own personal Mameluke, but I should keep such thoughts to myself…
Check out the sites, at the very least they’re an interesting cultural experience:
Posted by eerie at October 5, 2005 11:44 PM
Filed Under: MENA Region General
, Op-Ed
, Society & Culture
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Comments
Maghreb has worse internet penetration, but a far less tribal society.
Francophone sites of all kinds also have lots of Maghrebine participation.
Rather different societies in many ways.
Posted by: lounsbury at October 6, 2005 06:50 AM
From my limited experience, Maghrebines, even of a conservative or religious bent --
a) are not into the marry-the-cousins thing as much
b) women will date (in some cases even shack up (outside the home region) with outsiders (religious, ethnic, tribal)
c) don't get all weird about Jews the way many Sharqis do
Posted by: matthew hogan at October 6, 2005 12:18 PM
Mathew:
That would be spot on.
EDIT to ADD:
I should say my first introduction to the region was vie the rather more sporting Maghreb. Imagine my chagrin when transferred east to find having several girlfriends was not at all in the cards.
Posted by: The Lounsbury at October 6, 2005 02:07 PM
I’ve fallen into the trap of creating a fake profile so that I can browse the ads unrestricted...There is also a very hot Turk I want to make into my own personal Mameluke, but I should keep such thoughts to myself…
"Honey, I swear, it's for research...I mean, medicinal purposes..."
From my limited experience, Maghrebines, even of a conservative or religious bent...don't get all weird about Jews the way many Sharqis do
Actually, Ms. Eerie and I had been toying with the idea of creating me a profile there (entirely upfront, of course, about my ethno/religious heritage), just to see what the response would be. Your predictions?
Posted by: Eva Luna at October 6, 2005 05:00 PM
Well, you have four limbs, are alive, have an attractive passport.
Many Maghrebine responses.
Posted by: The Lounsbury at October 6, 2005 06:10 PM
Ah, but what if I fudged or omitted the passport details? Obviously, that would be a no-brainer; 15+ years of working with the Huddled Masses have certainly taught me that much.
Posted by: Eva Luna at October 6, 2005 07:16 PM
in tunisia all i ever saw were the francophone singles websites. lots of people of both genders doing their game. also it seems that many people on those sites were from black africa looking to get to a francophone arab country.
not that i'd know for any reason or anything... *cough*
Posted by: drdougfir at October 7, 2005 04:34 AM
Well, Eva, we shall have to see, no?
I should predict the slightest hint of Westerness gets many replies.
Doug, call it research.
Wait, you're an engineer.
Well regardless. By the way in regards to an old question, you should go to the OPIC website and look up the Marrakech conference. You might find leads on companies going into Libya.
Posted by: The Lounsbury at October 7, 2005 03:27 PM
I should predict the slightest hint of Westerness gets many replies.
Which was why I was proposing a control - disguising hints of westernness. How best to accomplish that? Will have to ponder further - maybe over the weekend.
Posted by: Eva Luna at October 7, 2005 04:04 PM
Well, the first part of every profile is auto-generated based on how you filled out the form. The second part is optional. My delicious Mameluke, for instance, has nothing written there at all. Generally though, haven't come across any Western-style clever prose.
One annoying thing is the javascript chat request window that keeps appearing if you're logged in and browsing.
Posted by: eerie at October 7, 2005 07:34 PM
I ran into this blog while surfing - random, but while on the topic I feel inclined to share the truth - I met my now husband on http://arablounge.com/ -- never expected that to happen but what a friendly surprise.b
Posted by: fatten at September 4, 2006 10:14 PM
Just to add to this topic, OArabs.com is an arab friends network site, that you might find it intersting to check out. It is geared toward social networking and friendships. Arab Chat and Arabic Music are also available on the site.
Posted by: OArabs.com at November 17, 2006 10:36 PM
