August 20, 2005
The Real Reason for the Iraqi Constitution's Delay
Nasar is trying to build a Constitution. His efforts are, he believes, noble, and will, as he imagines them, meet the deadline given to him.
Then he sees the telltale animation for Force of Aggro.
"Ack! I'm being pulled!" he says.
His coworkers on the drafting committee consider this.
"Oh dear," summarizes Mariam.
"That's nice," drawls one of the Sunnis.
Allah has not spoken on pulling, and both of these attitudes are permissible under Islamic law.
FoA lands. Nasar finds himself growing angry. He is very angry at someone named Drisst.
"I must go!" he says.
He tables the business of the meeting. Then he leaps onto the table. Then he pursues Drisst towards the hall.
It is a good pull. There is only one other Shiite whom Nasar passes near, Jalaldin, and Jalaldin is a very low-level Shiite Constitutional Committee Member. Jalaldin links to Nasar but won't make a very large difference in the struggle to come.
Nasar and Jalaldin leave the chamber where they had been meeting. They pass one of the impassive U.S. golems in its black metal bodysuit. They chase Drisst down the hall. Drisst is moving very quickly. Then he slows down.
"Orz!" shouts Drisst. "Sow plz!"
It echoes through the halls of the Coalition Provisional Authority Zone. Nasar, who does not understand English, finds Drisst's shout incomprehensible.
"Use your provisional authority!" says Jalaldin, as he runs around to block Drisst's path.
Nasar begins to glow a brilliant white. Streaks of light radiate upwards from the ground around him. Mysterious sigils appear and disappear in the air. He invokes Asheron's Provisional Authority. (If this is confusing, please remember that Iraq is a complicated country bringing together many disparate traditions.)
Drisst reels as he acquires the Provisional status effect. This has destroyed many opportunists who seek to derail the Constitutional draft process.
But on this particular occasion the invader survives.
"I help you!" says xSephiroth. xSephiroth is a generic cleric not aligned with either the Sunni or Shi'a faiths. xSephiroth casts a spell on Drisst. Drisst speeds up again. He races off.
"Do something!" cries Nasar, to the U.S. golems, but they are indifferent to invasive pulls.
"They will not infringe upon our sovereignty," declares Jalaldin.
Grimly, Jalaldin and Nasar follow Drisst and xSephiroth down the halls of the Coalition Provisional Authority Zone, to where the interlopers' party waits.
Posted by tomscud at August 20, 2005 10:23 AM
Filed Under: Society & Culture
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This entry made me realize that I've played far, far too many multiplayer games.
BTW "Sow plz!" is a request for the Spirit of Wolf spell, to make a player run faster. From EverQuest.
Getting really pedantic: clerics don't generally get speed or quickness spells. xSephiroth should really be a druid or shaman class. Perhaps it's an AC reference? Never played that one.
Posted by: eerie at August 20, 2005 10:51 AM
you do play too many RPG's eerie.
but that's okay. i enjoy, from time to time, playing C&C Generals. always the GLA, of course.
Posted by: drdougfir at August 20, 2005 02:41 PM
Is that the reference, I confess this made zero sense to me.
I must be getting old.
Posted by: The Lounsbury at August 22, 2005 05:46 AM
I could attempt exegesis. Seems almost beside the point, because the people for whom this would be funny, already get the joke, and it's not like anyone else is missing anything by not spending hours clicking little digital thingammies to earn fake rewards.
Posted by: Tom Scudder at August 22, 2005 11:10 AM